6 Steps to a Congenial Divorce

by Ricardo Barrera

Sadly, many divorces get ugly. But if the two people involved can make a commitment to work in a spirit of goodwill and cooperation, they can go a long way to maintaining a healthy post-marital relationship with each other.

If you and your spouse have determined that going your separate ways is best, here are some suggestions to help make your divorce a little easier for you both:

1. Agree to disagree

Disagreements will be inevitable even after the dissolution process is complete. The more you can plan ahead for possible snags related to finances, children and/or property, the better off you’ll be down the road.

2. Write everything down

No matter how friendly things may be between you and your soon-to-be-ex, always remember to put any plan that you develop together in writing. The more recorded details you have you have, the better.  This is especially true if you and your spouse will be sharing parenting responsibilities.

3. Be clear about consequences

Agree on what happens if one person does not abide by the agreement or somehow does not follow through. Make sure you know what will happen with the person who breaks the rules and what the ex gets to do about it.

4. Don’t try to be friends too soon

You’ll need to keep at least some distance between each other to set the rules and boundaries that will define your new relationship with each other. Once this is done, you can then begin to see whether or not a friendship is possible.

5. Resist old ways of being

Divorce means that you are no longer responsible to your partner for his or her personal well-being. Try not to slip into well-worn patterns of care-taking behavior. Doing so will only impede your growth as individuals.

6. Let your post-marital relationship evolve

If your relationship with your soon-to-be ex has any chance of re-emerging in a healthier form, you need to be able to let it go and allow it to transform on its own. You may find this difficult, but it’s the only way your lives will be able to move forward.

At the Barrera Law Firm, we are committed to helping you have the best, most equitable divorce possible.  Our attorneys combine compassion with years of experience to ensure that you and your spouse can part ways with a minimum of stress and hassle. When you need divorce law experts with a humane touch, contact us!



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